I can't explain it. It is something you have either felt or you haven't. There are no words to describe the desire to have another child. It's like a little piece of your heart is missing and you suddenly have this overwhelming need to fill it. Somehow or another you know the time is right. It is that time for us. I can't explain it. I just feel like there is this little person out there waiting on us.
The difference for us, as for so many of our friends, is that we can't decide that we want another baby and then start trying and get pregnant and nine months later have our child. It just isn't that way with us. We have a whole different type of pregnancy. :) It is one of varying length...could be a few weeks, could be years. There are a whole different type of questions and circumstances when it comes to adoption. The whole experience is just different. Not in a bad way, necessarily, just different.
So, back to the desire. I am ready. Brent is ready. I am ready now, today, this moment. I want to hear the baby fussing for me in the other room. I want to make bottles and wash newborn clothes. I want to go shopping for a new infant car seat and newborn diapers and tiny socks. I want to sit on the couch and stare at him or her and be in total awe. I want to see the reactions that Collin, Tyler and Emmalee will have to their new little sibling. I want to see Brent holding our child for the first time. I want, I want, I want.....I ache.
I also picture this beautiful child in my mind and always picture another baby with Down syndrome. I know we are meant to adopt another one with that little something extra. I am thrilled and humbled. I pray that I am worthy for another little angel. I pray they come quickly.
The journey continues.....