Thursday, August 11, 2011

Seven Years

Seven years ago today I became a Momma. I held my sweet baby boy for the very first time and marveled that God had seen fit to allow me to parent this perfect angel.

As we were preparing to come to NY to adopt Tyler I remember practicing over and over the first words I would say to him when I held him. "Hi, I'm your Momma." And I can clearly remember holding him close and whispering those words to him. It was something that I had longed to say to my child for many, many years. It was something I wasn't sure I would ever get to say.

I'm not sure I felt like a mom right away. I think when you adopt, the feelings come in waves. For the first couple of weeks I remember feeling like at any moment someone would come and take him back and say okay, your time is up.

I clearly remember one particular day when I realized that this was my child, forever, and no one was coming to take him. I was rocking him and it was quiet in the house and I just had this overwhelming wave of emotion. I clearly heard the spirit tell me, "this is your child. This is the child that God intended for you to have." I sat and held my baby and cried for a long time that day. I cried tears of joy, tears of humility and tears that helped me let go of the emotion of waiting for that day to come.

Tyler has changed our lives in ways I could never have predicted. I am in constant awe of his strength, his spirit, his love for others. He amazes me every single day.

Many, many people are part of Tyler's story including his incredible birth family and his self-less first adoptive parents and many others. I think of them every day and say a prayer of gratitude that because of them, I am Tyler's Momma.

Tyler, we love you so very much! I am so thankful that on that beautiful day, seven years ago, I was able to whisper to you, "Hi, I'm your Momma."