You know how certain things can trigger memories? Smelling cinnamon at Christmastime reminds me of family holidays when I was growing up. Hearing wind chimes reminds me of my Grandma's house. Watching "Hope Floats" reminds me of my friend Marcella.
For me, though, music is the strongest trigger. Sometimes I will hear a song on the radio that my dad used to sing to me when I was a child. Suddenly I am five years old again, standing on my dad's feet as he danced me around the kitchen while he sang to me. If I hear a song from my high school days I'm transported back to the Career Center during Marketing class with Ms. Boyd. And there's a certain Mindy McCready song that always reminds me of a guy I once thought I was in love with.
Today I heard Nathaniel's song. I never even realized he had a song until today. I was driving and it came on the radio and I was immediately overcome with emotion and memories.
It was a beautiful Fall afternoon in September, two years ago. The phone rang and it was Adoption STAR. I remember clearly the case worker introducing herself to me, as we had never met before. She explained that there was a baby boy born a couple of weeks previous and they were searching for an adoptive family. She told me all of his information -- he was a micro-preemie, born fifteen weeks early. He was very ill and they weren't 100% certain he would survive. Nevertheless, he needed a family and they were hoping we would consider adopting him. I can remember frantically writing everything down and hoping I wouldn't forget anything so I could repeat it all to Brent. I remember being totally speechless and trying to take it all in. And in my heart, I already knew this was our child.
While I was on the phone, Emmalee was watching "Piglet's Big Movie." This song was playing as I was learning all about our soon to be son. When I heard it again today, it brought back all the emotions, all the excitement and fear, all the joy. To me, this will forever be Nathaniel's song.